Yesterday I dropped one of my best friends from Indiana University off for her first day of Jewel. Mind you this is exactly one year after I went on Jewel, and it obviously changed my life; so maybe you can feel the excitement here?! It was so surreal to be back, but this time as alumni. I'm now that frum girl visiting Jewel and reliving her "glory days" on 6 Midbar Sinai.
Being back at the Jewel house got me thinking. It was just a year ago when I met my best friend (who is now married), I met my other best friend who is now a Jewel madricha on the program, and my life was just completely altered forever. I will admit that on seminary "tryout" day at Jewel I didn't go to Eyaht, but looking at my life a year in the past, only H-Shem could have known that this was where I would be today.
So while I may write about the struggles while they are happening (also the good times), I have never actually taken time to look at this full year of Yiddishkeit in perspective and from a distance. It is truly bitachon (trust in H-Shem) that helped me make every single decision along the way to get me to where I am holding today. I am so grateful to H-Shem for giving me a supportive family. Without their support and love, I would be no where. In addition to my family, I have the most wonderful group of friends, teachers, rabbis, and rebbetzins that a frum-girl-in-the-making could ask for!
This past year since my Jewel program has been one of ups and downs, but looking back at a glance, I see nothing but progression and growth in myself as a Jewish woman. There are no doubt going to be more ups and probably many more downs on this journey, but from where I stand, it's all looking pretty good.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Asara B'Tevet
Today was Asara B'Tevet, the Fast of the 10th of Tevet. Yehezkiel, one of the prophets, predicted that there would be a siege of Jerusalem on the 10th day of the 10th month in the year (when you count from Nissan) in which the actual siege happened. Today I learned from one of my teachers that Asara B'Tevet is a day in which we are actually fasting for three reasons: 1) the siege of Jerusalem, 2) it was on the 8th of Tevet that 70 scholars were forced to translate the Torah into Greek, and 3) on the 9th of Tevet Ezra, the last prophet, passed away.
So the big question in class today was: What is this fast all about? Obviously three very important occurrences happened on or around the 10th of Tevet, but what is the big idea behind the fast? While there are always a number of answers to the ame question, one of the ideas that was discussed really stuck with me. The idea that the 10th of Tevet is exactly 98 days after Rosh Hashanah, depending on how many days are in each month sometimes the 98th day can land on the 8th or 9th of Tevet as well, and there are 98 curses given in the Torah. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are times of judgement, but many people are unaware that the 10th of Tevet is also a time of judgement. It is the day in which it will be decreed whether or not the Beis Hamikdash (temple) will be rebuilt. It was the day on which it was decreed by H-shem that the Beis Hamikdash would be destroyed, which is the reason for the siege of Jerusalem, which eventually led to the destroying of the Beis Hamikdash. On this day of Asara B'Tevet, we have the ability to be judged by H-shem, and it is possible that He may decree that we start the period of time in which Moshiach comes and the Beis Hamikdash is rebuilt.
Chazal say that if you live in a time period where you do not get to live with the Beis Hamikdash, it is as if you lived in a period of time when the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. I really got to thinking about this today, and I truly believe that with each action we perform, and each tefilla we daven we have the ability to get one step closer to Moshiach. We must always be aware that our actions matter, and especially on this day of Asara B'Tevet, H-shem is judging us, and the entire Jewish people rely on the judgement.
So may this Asara B'Tevet be the last in which we have to fast. May the next Asara B'Tevet be one with the Beis Hamikdash rebuilt, Moshiach and a large celebration commemorating the day!
So the big question in class today was: What is this fast all about? Obviously three very important occurrences happened on or around the 10th of Tevet, but what is the big idea behind the fast? While there are always a number of answers to the ame question, one of the ideas that was discussed really stuck with me. The idea that the 10th of Tevet is exactly 98 days after Rosh Hashanah, depending on how many days are in each month sometimes the 98th day can land on the 8th or 9th of Tevet as well, and there are 98 curses given in the Torah. Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are times of judgement, but many people are unaware that the 10th of Tevet is also a time of judgement. It is the day in which it will be decreed whether or not the Beis Hamikdash (temple) will be rebuilt. It was the day on which it was decreed by H-shem that the Beis Hamikdash would be destroyed, which is the reason for the siege of Jerusalem, which eventually led to the destroying of the Beis Hamikdash. On this day of Asara B'Tevet, we have the ability to be judged by H-shem, and it is possible that He may decree that we start the period of time in which Moshiach comes and the Beis Hamikdash is rebuilt.
Chazal say that if you live in a time period where you do not get to live with the Beis Hamikdash, it is as if you lived in a period of time when the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. I really got to thinking about this today, and I truly believe that with each action we perform, and each tefilla we daven we have the ability to get one step closer to Moshiach. We must always be aware that our actions matter, and especially on this day of Asara B'Tevet, H-shem is judging us, and the entire Jewish people rely on the judgement.
So may this Asara B'Tevet be the last in which we have to fast. May the next Asara B'Tevet be one with the Beis Hamikdash rebuilt, Moshiach and a large celebration commemorating the day!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
I'm baaaack!
Shalom from Yerushalayim! It has been about 5 months, but I am finally back in Yerushalayim for 3 weeks for my winter break, and nothing could be better. I am so thankful to have the support from my family so I am able to come to Eretz Yisrael so often. I didn't realize how much I needed this trip until I was actually back at Eyaht, but boy oh boy, did I really need this "shot of kedushah".
Being in America, I never actually realized how much I was getting sucked back into the every day secular world of going out, eating out, and doing not-so-kosher things. Although these things may seem small in comparison to things that I used to do, I was still being less holy and tznius than I should have been, and until I arrived back in Israel about a week ago, I did not even realize it. It is SO easy to simply go with the flow, eat that piece of non-kosher pizza, and just rely on the excuse that you're "growing". But it gets to a certain extent where you are stuck, and you're not growing anymore (Gd forbid); you are just holding yourself back. You are giving in to your yetzer hara, and going along with the flow of the non-frum world because it might seem like it is easier at the time. I cannot even believe that it has taken me five months and a plane ride across the world to realize that instead of being back in Bloomington growing, I have been in a constant battle with my yetzer hara, and as hard as this is to do, I will admit that my yetzer hara was winning. So if any of you have ever felt this way, don't feel like you're alone because I've totally been there!
Now that I've come to the realization that I really need to get my priorities in check and do a few things differently at home, even if they are a bit difficult, I feel stronger than ever. I feel empowered and confident that I will be able to overcome my yetzer hara, and as the great Rabbi Miller of Gateshead says, "Make differences where there are differences", and in a wonderful class given by his daughter this week, I learned that this means (I'm sure in a much less elegant way than my teacher gave it over, but I try to do her WONDERFUL teaching justice), when there is spirituality involved, we shouldn't be afraid to be different and make the differences that are necessary to make the spiritual more holy and meaningful.
As the week comes to a close, I hope you are all making differences wherever you are, and may you all have a wonderful and restful Shabbos!
Being in America, I never actually realized how much I was getting sucked back into the every day secular world of going out, eating out, and doing not-so-kosher things. Although these things may seem small in comparison to things that I used to do, I was still being less holy and tznius than I should have been, and until I arrived back in Israel about a week ago, I did not even realize it. It is SO easy to simply go with the flow, eat that piece of non-kosher pizza, and just rely on the excuse that you're "growing". But it gets to a certain extent where you are stuck, and you're not growing anymore (Gd forbid); you are just holding yourself back. You are giving in to your yetzer hara, and going along with the flow of the non-frum world because it might seem like it is easier at the time. I cannot even believe that it has taken me five months and a plane ride across the world to realize that instead of being back in Bloomington growing, I have been in a constant battle with my yetzer hara, and as hard as this is to do, I will admit that my yetzer hara was winning. So if any of you have ever felt this way, don't feel like you're alone because I've totally been there!
Now that I've come to the realization that I really need to get my priorities in check and do a few things differently at home, even if they are a bit difficult, I feel stronger than ever. I feel empowered and confident that I will be able to overcome my yetzer hara, and as the great Rabbi Miller of Gateshead says, "Make differences where there are differences", and in a wonderful class given by his daughter this week, I learned that this means (I'm sure in a much less elegant way than my teacher gave it over, but I try to do her WONDERFUL teaching justice), when there is spirituality involved, we shouldn't be afraid to be different and make the differences that are necessary to make the spiritual more holy and meaningful.
As the week comes to a close, I hope you are all making differences wherever you are, and may you all have a wonderful and restful Shabbos!
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